New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Damn victory sex feels great
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