The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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