There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
