dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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