White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
