sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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