Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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