is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
