so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
