went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
