Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
