it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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