So drunk, too bad you don't want this
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
