it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
