They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize