He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
