we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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