went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Im part way to drunk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
