she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
