he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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