you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
i think my cat just said my name.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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