Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize