For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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