took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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