sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This house was built for laser tag.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
