Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
