You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize