oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
