Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
