I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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