I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He passed out mid-signature
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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