her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
