It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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