i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
