We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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