So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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