Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's just like the Real World with babies
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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