Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
