My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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