just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just had sex on a roof
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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