The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
