Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
