but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize