Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize