OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
