im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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