i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
