brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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