There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize