i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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