it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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