I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
do nipples grow back?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize