official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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