drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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