it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
