Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
