They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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