when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
