im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
