We're like a lot better than the average bears
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
