They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
