Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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