I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
