it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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