When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize