Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
