i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
