Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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