I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
