he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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